Some random events that contain Jack Sparrow
by Cirente
Summary: Jack Sparrow ends up in my house and discovers TV, then has a random party. Also, Elizabeth gets extremely drunk. Any ideas for future chapters appreciated.
1. A random and drunken party

It starts off as what would happen if Jack Sparrow discovered my TV, but then goes onto the realms of randomness. Read with caution. I also do NOT own PotC 1 or 2, or any of the characters, as much as I wish.

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Somehow, Jack Sparrow suddenly found himself in my living room. Unsurprisingly, he had rum. Surprisingly, he also had a slice of cheese.

He was staring at a strange black box. It had a button, and, being Jack, he pressed it.

Suddenly, a huge picture of Elmo came on and he cowered in fear. What was this creation? He had dropped his rum and his cheese, and the cheese was so scared that it vanished in a puff of milk. The rum being so drunk to notice smashed and was lost forever.

Well, seeing that this weird thing had destroyed his beloved rum and his cheese, he picked it up and started to repeatedly smash it on the floor. The pictures started to flicker and kept changing, until he found a picture of himself. He stared at it, and thought that this must be an intelligent thing because it was showing the miracle that he was.

So he sat down and started to watch Pirates of the Caribbean 2 when I came down from my room, only to glomp him. Because that is my ambition, to glomp Jack Sparrow.

Unsurprisingly he went crazy and threatened to stab me with his sword.

"Well I will poke you with my TV" I said.

"What is this TV you speak of?" he said.

"That black thing you were watching" I replied.

Then Will and Liz and everyone else suddenly appeared, then we had a party about Jack's awesomeness. Jack ended up pinned to the wall with a sword to his neck by Will, as he had been hinting heavily to Elizabeth that they should "get it on" as he put it, Elizabeth was in a corner rocking backwards and forwards as she had never had this much to drink and really wanted Will to stop trying to kill Jack, and everyone else ended on the floor and several died of alchohol poisoning. Jack finally got free of Will, threw him out the window and carried Elizabeth off into the night.

The End.

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Please review even if you thought it sucked.


	2. Elizabeth gets drunk

Well, someone asked if there was any chance of a two shot, and I thought why the hell not.

Again, I don't own PotC 1 or 2 or any of the characters. Excuse me while I go get some ice-cream and cry.

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Just after Jack runs away with Elizabeth in the night, Will woke up in a gorse bush.

"Oh no!" he cried, "My not-so-manly hair is ruined!"

He then goes on to take the prickles out of his hair with a spoon and brushes his hair with a cat.

MEANWHILE

Jack, with Elizabeth, finally find the nearest pub and drink all the rum. Elizabeth is very drunk and Jack is mildly tipsy. They then go to the beer garden, with Jack hoping it is a garden full of beer but is disappointed when it is just a garden. They rush off and find strange woman and men wearing funny clothes, and laugh at them, and, sadly, one of the girls they laughed at was very self concious and ran away crying, only to be transported onto Davy Jones' ship and, well, you know what happened.

They caught up with Will who had composed himself and randomly appeared in front of them from behind an opera singer who had randomly appeared too.

"You thought you could get it on with my very drunk fiance? YOU WERE WRONG!"

"Ssssh, you're making a scene" Jack said

Everyone had crowded around them and started to chant, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"Wow! This is like Tortuga" Jack said.

Suddenly, Elizabeth staggered from Jack's grip and punched thin air. She then collapsed and had to be helped up by Jack and Will.

"Lets never fight again!" Will said, and he skipped off with Jack into the sunset, with Elizabeth staggering after them

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The End


End file.
